One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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why did the black man eat two buckets of fried chicken? because he was hungry and he likes fried chicken

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops