What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

thumb_up thumb_down -51

why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

thumb_up thumb_down -53

So this blonde walks into a library.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

thumb_up thumb_down -73

how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

thumb_up thumb_down -137

17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops