What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

who just made fun of katie matt

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops