Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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So, a black guy walked into a bar. "Ouch," he said.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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George W. Bush

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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Women's Rights...

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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A man cries out to god.. and god doesn't answer.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

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What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

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- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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