- Anti Joke

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

whats worse then being lit on fire? dont worry about that right now your ass is on fire!

how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

What's better than group sex? Gang rape

What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

youre gay

How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

what do u call a black person a black person dehh

Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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