A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is bad at catch The twin towers

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

thumb_up thumb_down +28

ceiling mounted bonerss CC

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do u call a black person a black person dehh

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If Life gives you melons, then I think your dislexic

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops