nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

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Fill in the _________ Ans: Cup Posted By: Lram

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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How Many Blind People Does It Take To Solve A Rubiks Cube? None Their Blind

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Q:why did the chicken cross the road. A:to get back to the farm he was raised on

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I'm Spartacus

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Why did the man cross the road? He was hungry and homeless, and in search of chicken.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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my names jim haha

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What was wrong with the tree? Nothing

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What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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why did the boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a boat

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Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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