Chuck Norris died.

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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noodles

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The Bible

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

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i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

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Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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