What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

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What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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Nickelback

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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Why did the Latino feel uncomfortable during anal, vaginal, and oral sex simultaneously? Because she was being raped by three men.

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45.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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