What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

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He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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You should put some sand in your vagina to make the crabs feel more at home.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops