Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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GOODBYE

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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