- Anti Joke

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

wat does say to another bird....... chirp chirp

Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Anti-Joke Triceratops

1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over