Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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Q: Human being? A: False. Jew.

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Manchester City

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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Why was the girl on the ground? She jumped off a bridge.

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What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

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How do you kill a blonde? You wait until she dies of old age, then copyright her death.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

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Gustavo Andrade

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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