Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

Chlamydia

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

Why do so many people like writting really bad anti jokes? Said Santa Claus

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

One, two, three, four and five

A fat guy!

What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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