- Anti Joke

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

Q: Why did they laugh at the black guy? A: He told a funny joke.

What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

knock knock who`s there me oh come in

why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

taking out the trash... at night

Q: why didn't johnny do his homework? A:because johnny is dead

Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.