Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

Nock nock Who's there K K who? You forgot the K

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

A duck walks into a bar. He sees Khloe Kardashian sitting on a barstool. The duck runs out of the bar screaming.

Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

black people swimming

knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

i want to meet Dora's parents and ask them why they let that bitch go everywhere

Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

Why was the black racist guy and the white racist guy, who 0hated each other, afraid of Michael Jackson? They didn't want to be the other each others color.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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