Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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