Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Hello, I am Sergent Henry Orange. I'm afraid your husband was shot down by an enemy aircraft. I'm sorry, he was a brave man.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

there was a little girl walking through a park. then she was kidnapped and most likely raped and sold to a foreign country.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I just threw up..In my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

three people walked into a bar and there was a blackman,a jew,a white man and a nazi bartendor which ones did he shoot? The black and the jew and the white man

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a Mexican without any arms or legs? A bean.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you cross a gay eskimo and a black man? Nothing, as two male humans cannot reproduce.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black kid, a white kid, an Asian, and a Dane all take acid in a room. They have a profound experience and find a greater meaning in life.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops