Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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Rush Limbaugh

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A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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i have yougurt mit traktor

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Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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A man walks into a bar and is shot in the face

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

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U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops