So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

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A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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Two families of pedophiles go to the beach. One of the dads lays down to suntan and looks at the other dad. "Hey! Get out of my son!" he exclaims.

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knock knock come in

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Not being retarded.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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jordan godfrey is good looking lolololol

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why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Roses are red Grass is green Get in the van If you know what I mean

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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What has wheels and is green all over? Grass... I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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