one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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I am quite mature.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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