I am quite mature.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

I bet I can say the the whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world. The whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world.

Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

Roses are blue Violets are unicorns This doesn't make sense Refrigerator

What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

WOw you have no life

A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

What did the asshole say to his friend behind him? Fart

What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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