A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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all these jokes are horrible now

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What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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Women's Rights..

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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