How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Jellybeans

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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knock knock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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