What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

why did jenny get 22 turnovers in a basketball game? because jenny has down syndrome

Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

it was christmas and the kid waited all night. finally santa came.....

I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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