What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 6 being the highest how confused are you?

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What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

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baloney sandwich

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Yo momma's so fat that when she died of congestive heart failure, your family had to pay extra for a larger coffin to bury her in.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

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What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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SEX

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops