Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

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How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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everyone wonders y grandmas dont wear bra's its because if youre that old u might die putting it on

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How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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Why did Suzy cross the road? She didn't she got hit by a bus. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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Women's rights

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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