So a man walks into a bar, right?

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Neither have I

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops