How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

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Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops