what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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