Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

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There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

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Person 1: Why don't you want to date me? Person 2: Because you are ugly Person 1: Why am I ugly? Person 2: Because you have bad features. Person 1: Why do i have bad features? Person 2: It's your genetics. Person 1: Why is it my genetics Person 2: Cuz that's the way god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: Because god's god made you Person 1: Why Person 2: Because the god of god of god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: That's the way the god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of (GOES ON FOREVER!!!) made you.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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its funny cuz i laughed!

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How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Whats worse then a dead baby? 10 dead babies

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What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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