My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

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The man was driving down the road at an opropriat speed and got t-boned. The women in the other car got out and tried to help the man but the man was already out of the car and call 911

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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