man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

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Alchohol.

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Lololol

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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Ily bae

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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A stripper walks into a bar. She works there.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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tell ur mom i love her before i die this would have been a better ending to the tintanic

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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