Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

thumb_up thumb_down +22

We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

thumb_up thumb_down +22

joe galasso from plainview ny

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops