Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

Anti-jokes are funny.

What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

What's brown and sticky A stick

Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

Neither have I

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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