What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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Please don't shoot me

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

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Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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