What do you put your key on? A key chain.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti-jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

thumb_up thumb_down +24

two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's brown and sticky A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops