69.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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what's white and sticky semen

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

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A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops