Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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