Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

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cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy mushroom soup in my testicles belly Buton cheese.com ( tickle my. Nipple frog)

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Hello penis

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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A child is in class. He really has to go to the bathroom. The teacher tells him if he can recite the alphabet, he can go to the bathroom. The kid holds his breath and goes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The teacher tells him good job and allows him to go to the bathroom. When the kid got there there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy. when the teacher noticed the boy was gone for a long time, he went to check on him. When the teacher saw the dead naked body of the boy hanging from the ceiling, he shot himself. The teacher had a family of a wife and 3 sons. The principal of the school had to call the Wife and let her know about the tragedy. The principal also thought this would be a good time to tell the wife that her husband has been having a homosexual affair with him. The wife takes her three sons and drives off a bridge. They all die minus one son (age 14) who had to grow up on the street with other homeless men. He became addicted to crack and when he ran out of places to get money from he decided to rob his old home. He broke into the house and didn't know that a new family has moved in, a married couple and their 1 year old baby. He doesn't want to go to jail, so he kills the baby, spreads the blood all over the parents, ties the dad up and makes him watch his wife get raped, then he shoots the parents before putting the gun on himself. A police officer who responded to the scene had a heart condition and the scene of the crime caused him to have a heart attack. But, he got to the hospital in time and lived.

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Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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Two Lawyers were talking to one another. The first lawyer said, "Wow this is the fourth case I've won in a row!" The other lawyer did not know how to respond because of the men the other lawyer put in jail had escaped from jail and already killed the lawyer's family.

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whats the difference between an iron and a priest? An iron is a hand-held device which presses clothes and a priest is a person who is authorized to perform the sacred rituals of a religion.

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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