How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

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How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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Have you heard any anti-jokes? ... Are you Jewish by chance?

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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Tall asians

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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