So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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kkkk

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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I Have a Black Friend

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What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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