What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

knock knock Dave's not here.

That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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