Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

thumb_up thumb_down +22

kkkk

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops