A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

I was watching Fox news.

NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

Internet Explorer

The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

POLITE NOTICE: Management Committee here. Please refrain from posting any anti-jokes which are not offensive to protected groups.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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