A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

Q. what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A. nothing you done told her twice already

An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

wanna hear a joke? i dont

When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

Why is Finnish taxi driver smiling while driving? He's happy.

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

What did the cat say to the towel? Meow.

Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

What does a man and an orange have in common? Nothing.

Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

My asian freind died recently... But on another note why did the chicken cross the road.Crosing the road is a metaphor for killing yourself and the chicken is my asian freind.

cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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