Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Lololol

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Alchohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops