What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

What african eat for christmas Sand.

Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy?

Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

What ended in the year 1970? 1969

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You were probably expecting a poem or something but no this is just a gardening fact

Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He simply lost grip of the cone and it fell out of his hand

Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

How many gay people does it take to make a football team? 11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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