knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a man with a serious lung diesease was brought into a hospital, through continuous care they were not able to save him and he died the following morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

outside your comfort zone

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops