- Anti Joke

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

Roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry show me your tits!!

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

Lets Go Lakers!

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.