A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

What is pink, red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in it's eyes

How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

"Have you heard the skyscraper joke?" "No." "Oh. Well I don't feel like telling it to you."

What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

What's 2+2? Fish

you see theres this guy.

Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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