what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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Lindsay Lohan

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

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What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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