Knock knock. Who's there? Honey, are you hearing things again? Nobody knocked on the door... Honey-are-you-hearing-things-again-nobody-knocked-on-the-door who? ...

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How does Michael J. Fox mix his paint? He uses the paint mixing stick that is provided, for free, by most reputable hardware stores.

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what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

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Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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That is a bad anti-joke down there | V

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A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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What do you get when you cross rice flour,vegetable oil,corn oil,cottonseed oil,soybean oil,dried potatoes,corn flour,maltodextrin,wheat starch,modified rice starch,sugar and mono-and-di-glycerides,malted barley flour,wheat bran,dried black beans and salt? Pringles,Multi Grain,truly original

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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