Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

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How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

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Have you heard any anti-jokes? ... Are you Jewish by chance?

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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