- Anti Joke

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

It got hit by a rocket.

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

A mexican and a black were in a cop car. Who was driving it? The Mexican, he was a cop and the black person was his assistant.

In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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