"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I left my car keys inside.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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The EPA.

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Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? Because he wants to hide the fact he knocked up a chicken.

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

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A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops