whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Q. What happened when a man went to a bar? A. Nothing, The bar was closed.

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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What's funnier A Ginger or a fat kid A fat ass ginger

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What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Docter Docter who? Yes its me, Craig Who your docter, I have the test results back Im afriad its positive,you've only got a few months left

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Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

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what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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What do you get when you cross a train track and a bumpy feild, Further along on your GPS map.

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While your reading this. A man is robbing your home and sodomizing your dog

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A Jew, Catholic, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The Jew leaves first for an unrelated reason.

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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