Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because he would scare the shit out of everyone, and come to think of it wasn't even sure he had been invited.

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops