What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

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A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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mexicans fishing

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Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops