My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

What do a black man and a cop have in common? They are both not cabbages.

What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

Apirl showers bring... Tornadoes that kill families

What goes in and out of a hole? A Rabbit you people have dirty minds!

XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

whats black and yellow a chinese with a bruise

Dyslexics have more nuf!

What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

men's rights activists

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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