What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Justin's life

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops