Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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Whats more worse than a dead baby? You shouldn't be thinking about dead babies or stuff worse than them, it is sad.

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Q: What did the prostitute ask the officer? A: Where were you stationed? I have a lot of respect for our boys in the Middle East.

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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Q: Are their Jews in Hell? A: No, because Hitlers there

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why wont me daughter eat my feces

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

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the bible

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Do you feel lucky punk, well do ya? ..Umm i'm sorry :/ I'm not gay!... I'm into chicks...you know?!

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why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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what do you get when you cross a rhino and a chicken? well, if you're unlucky and too close too the chicken, salmonella if you provoke the rhino, impaled

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were you expecting a joke

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Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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Rivals? Someone from the past? Erron, who is "WE"! Tell me now!

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- Helen Keller

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Q: On a plane, a black man does not grab a bag of peanuts, while everyone else does. Why? A: He has allergies.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? A Mountain Lion wait...what

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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