how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

what do you call a sick eagle illegal

What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

What do you call a man with a diploma? A high school graduate.

What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

Roses are Tits Violets are Tits I love Tits TITS!

Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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